God Met Me in the Sadness

Oh friends....it has been SO hard being unemployed & looking for a job. It's like a heavy weight I've been carrying around that just never lets up. I had a little breakdown 2 nights ago.

Of course, this breakdown happened late at night....**always be aware that your defenses are down late at night & that's when satan likes to enlarge any fears that you have.**

So I'm crying & can't go to sleep. My mind just keeps telling me over & over again FAILURE. FAILURE. FAILURE. We wouldn't be so tight financially if I had a job. We might already have a place by now if I had a job. Paul wouldn't feel the pressure & strain if I had a job. Well, as you can see, my mind was running away with me...& it succeeded. For that night.

I awake the next morning. Go to my father-in-law's office to work for the day. It's lunch time. I get a call from Paul. He says that the National Guard job...that I have been waiting practically 6 months for....has opened up & I needed to send in my resume in ASAP. I rush home to send it in. This is good job news #1.

Good job news #2: As I'm pulling into the driveway, my father-in-law is pulling out. He stops to tell me that the Court House job that I've been waiting months for is hiring me within the next 2 weeks. Aaaandddd that I'll be working in Teen Court. Helloooo...teens are who I have a heart for.

Ok, so the most amazing part of this story is not the 2 jobs that I want finally opening up. It's the fact that God met me right where I was at. God met me in the sadness. The breakdown the night before did not happen because I was trusting Him...it was because I was NOT trusting Him. And God didn't have to do anything to encourage me, cause I really didn't deserve it.

But instead, my Creator showed me, in the most obvious way, He cares about me & has this whole job thing in His hands. Even if both these jobs fall through (which no doubt would be sad), He has made it known to me that I MUST trust Him & that He completely has me. He showed so much grace & love to me that I don't deserve.

It's still going to have to make an intentional effort to continue to trust Him. But how great is it that He cares what's going on in my life!